How to Keep Your Partner Sexually Satisfied

Whether you’ve been in a relationship for 5 days or 20 years, sexual satisfaction is probably a pretty big part of your relationship. And if you want to do your part to ensure your partner is as satisfied as possible, what’s the most important thing? Communication! After all, you’ll never know for sure if your partner is satisfied or not unless you ask. But talking is only part of it—you also have to follow through with what you talked about in the bedroom (which should be the fun part). Here, you’ll find some tips and tricks that will help you build a sexually fulfilling relationship with your husband that satisfies you both.


Let your partner know how much you want them.

A 2021 study showed feeling desired is important for people’s sexual satisfaction. For the vast majority of people who participated in the study (a whopping 95%), “feeling desired” ranked as very important. Some even said it was more important to them than basic physical needs like eating and sleeping. The easiest way to help people feel desired is to tell them—whether it’s face-to-face or through a sexy little text.

    • For example, you might text your partner as they are on the way home from work and say something like, “I’ve been thinking all day about your body next to mine. I crave your touch.”
    • While the two of you are out together, you might lean close and whisper in their ear, “I forgot how hot you look in that suit—I just want to devour you.”


Touch your partner regularly in non-sexual ways.

Romantic touch makes people feel loved and desired. Perhaps you remember when you and your partner first started dating and you couldn’t keep your hands off each other. Channelling some of that energy into your couple life will help increase their sexual and overall satisfaction in the relationship.

  • This could be as subtle as a light touch on their arm as you’re talking or a brief squeeze as you brush past them in the kitchen. Rest your hand on their arm as you’re reading something together or on their leg when you’re in the car.
  • Think back to how you might touch someone when you were flirting with them and trying to get their attention, then touch your partner in some of the same ways. The same facial expressions and looks work too! A fleeting, meaningful glance can make them feel the same way your hand brushing them or lingering on their arm would.
  • Kissing and cuddling in bed at night, even if you’re not going to have sex, helps sustain your physical and emotional bond.

Initiate sex and take the lead occasionally.

  1. Show your partner that you’re enthusiastic and you want them. Remember: feeling desired is very important for people’s sexual satisfaction. If the other is always the one who initiates sex, your partner has no way of knowing if you really want it or just go along with it when they bring it up. Embrace the vulnerability that comes with getting the ball rolling not knowing if thery’ll reciprocate.

    • There are ways you can ease into this if you’re kind of shy about initiating. For example, you might send them a teasing text like, “I might have a surprise for you tonight in the bedroom… if you’re up for it.”
    • Sending a sexy photo can also work to kick off something sexual. For example, you might tie a ribbon around yourself, text them a picture, and say, “You have a present… but you have to unwrap it.”
    • This is also a good way to improve your own satisfaction. If you’re taking the lead, you can show them exactly how you like to be touched.

Surprise your partner with a quickie once in a while.

  1. A quickie tells your partner you want them so badly you must have them right now. The best way to initiate a surprise quickie is to catch your partner at a time when they’d normally be down for sex but isn’t expecting it at the moment. Then, just start making out with them and let things go from there.
    • For example, if they like morning sex, you might set your alarm for 10 minutes early and wake your partner up with kisses and gentle caresses of his body.
    • You can also initiate a quickie with a text. For example, if you’re at home and know they have a lunch break coming up, you might text them, “I have a special lunch for you… but you’ll have to come home to get it.” When they come home, you can be waiting naked or in someoutfit they like.

Talk dirty in bed.

  1. People often get aroused and feel more desired when you talk dirty. If this isn’t something you feel super comfortable with, start with more vague, PG-rated comments, such as “I love when you put your hand there,” or “You feel so good.” You can always ramp it up from there.

    • Remember that people want to feel desired, so focus on what you love about them and make it seem like you just can’t get enough of them. For example, you might say, “Your body against mine makes me so hot,” or “I can’t get enough of how you feel inside me.”
    • As long as you’re both comfortable with it, try watching pornography together to get some good ideas for dirty talk.

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